101 Reasons Why I Hate Draco Malfoy
by TiredRaven
Summary: Luna Lovegood writes a list of 101 reasons why she hates Draco Malfoy. But when it gets down to it, does she hate him as much as she would like to? Oneshot.


It was just a list that I started for another fic… but then I liked the list better than the fic. This is definitely DM/LL, a pairing that I don't see too much and absolutely adore. So, please read and review. Oh, and if you'd like me to write a fic, maybe about Malfoy seeing this list or something, either include that in your review or PM me. I'm fine with either.

(This story takes place before the sixth book.)

But, for the love of the Gods, REVIEW!

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**101 Reasons Why I Hate Draco Malfoy**

1. I hate that he's in Slytherin.

2. I hate that he's nearly killed Harry several times. Now Harry, there's someone I like. Not Malfoy.

3. I hate that he regularly stares at me like I'm an alien. Really, just because I read upside down…

4. I hate that he laughs out loud when I talk about my Mum. But I will see her again—I know it.

5. I hate that he insists on calling me Loony Luna.

6. I hate that he calls Hermione a mudblood. He sounds like a conceited, arrogant bastard when he does that. I mean, he _is _a conceited, arrogant bastard, but then he actually sounds like one… and you know what? Next item.

7. I hate that he refers to all of the Weasley's as blood traitors. Quite unattractive, really.

8. I hate that his father is a deatheater.

9. I hate that his father gives blondes a bad name.

10. I hate that his mother also gives blondes a bad name.

11. I hate that_ he _gives blondes a bad name.

12. I hate that he's Snape's favorite student.

13. I hate the way he slicks back his hair.

14. My father is _not _crazy.

15. I hate that he told me that Crumple-Horned Snorkacks were a myth.

16. I hate that he reads _Witch Weekly._ What self-respecting guy reads _Witch Weekly_?

17. I hate that he says _The Quibbler _is a disgrace to the magic world.

18. I hate that I listen to him.

19. I hate that yellow is my favorite color, and it doesn't look good on him.

20. Professor Lupin was amazing. Unlike him.

21. I hate that he's a pureblood believer.

22. I hate that he eats like a pig.

23. I hate that I've never seen him wearing anything but black and gray.

24. I hate that he insists I was sorted into the wrong house.

25. He took my grey sweater, and I know it.

26. I hate that he takes an insane amount of joy in torturing people.

27. I hate that he's cursed almost all of the people I consider my friends.

28. I hate that he gets good marks without trying.

29. I hate that his laugh makes my spine crawl.

30. I hate that his shoes make him look like a dork.

31. I hate that he seems to think that the entire female population swoons over him.

32. I hate that almost all of the female population _does _swoon over him.

33. I hate that he never forgets it if you're wrong.

34. I hate that he's damned good at hexing.

35. Crabbe and Goyle aren't monkeys, no matter how stupid they are.

36. I hate that he doesn't treat anyone—not even his supposed friends—like they're human.

37. No one should be so devoid of a heart as to make Neville cry and walk away.

38. He's really not as amazing as he thinks he is.

39. I hate that he's made everyone think that's not true.

40. Buckbeak was awesome.

41. I hate that he's dated Pansy Parkinson for several years now.

42. I hate that he sings off-key.

43. I hate that he's probably in deatheater training.

44. I hate that he doesn't believe in Dumbledore.

45. I hate that he thinks of stupid, juvenile nicknames for every single person he comes in contact with.

46. I hate that he still claims it didn't hurt when Hermione punched him in third year.

47. I hate that he's talent-less as a Seeker, yet he still manages to win Quidditch games.

48. I hate that when he thinks I can't hear him, he repeats what I just said and laughs manically.

49. I hate him because I'm beginning to run out of things to say…

50. But I'm not done yet. I hate that he makes fun of Professor Flitwick.

51. I hate that he never looks at anyone besides the girls with the biggest tits.

52. I hate that he's outrageously addicting.

53. My bottle cap necklace is _not _stupid.

54. I hate that he says I don't have any friends.

55. I hate that he made me think he was right.

56. I hate that he points out everything I try to ignore.

57. I hate that he thinks I'm outrageously funny because I'm different.

58. I hate that I always used to be happy with the way I was, until he pointed out just how different I was.

59. I hate that I bet he knows nearly everything about the inner workings of the deatheaters, and he doesn't say anything.

60. I hate that he can get under my skin without trying at all.

61. I hate that I was the one who first noticed him, not the other way around.

62. I hate that he's really polite when he wants to be.

63. I hate that he smirks, never smiles.

64. Radishes are too a good accessory!

65. Neville is not a fool, he is not a goon, he is not there simply to be laughed at. He is not a disgrace to purebloods; he's a million times more a man than Draco Malfoy will ever be.

66. I hate that he looks like a ferret.

67. I hate that his eyes never look warm.

68. I hate that, for some reason, I always feel bad for him.

69. I can't stand the way he stands on the balls of his feet.

70. I hate that he probably knows all of the Unforgivable Curses.

71. I hate that he's grown up surrounded by evil, but I've seen someone die and he hasn't.

72. I hate that he doesn't know that I've seen someone die.

73. I hate that he wouldn't care even if he knew I had seen someone die.

74. I hate that he thinks he's too high and mighty for the rest of us.

75. I hate that he might be right.

76. I hate that he makes me second-guess myself.

77. Harry is not a prick, he is not a prude, he is simply more of a man than Malfoy.

78. I hate that he owned Dobby.

79. I hate that Dobby still thinks he owes something to him.

80. I hate that he hasn't even noticed that Dobby works at Hogwarts now.

81. Dumbledore is in no way a fool.

82. I hate him because I am once again running short on things to say.

83. I hate the way his eyes pierce into mine.

84. I hate the way he always knows what to say.

85. I hate that one day what he says will make my heart flutter, and the next day it will make me want to crawl under a rock and die.

86. I hate that I always think it's not his fault for being this way.

87. I hate the way his eyes are such a shade of piercing blue that it makes my heart melt.

88. I hate that I could fall into those eyes and feel at home forever.

89. I hate that none of these are real reasons at all.

90. I hate that I can't ever get him off of my mind.

91. I hate the way his un-tucks his shirt slightly and expects everyone to swoon.

92. I hate that everyone does.

93. I hate that I'm part of everyone.

94. I hate that he makes me feel unoriginal.

95. I hate him because I only thought of 78 decent reasons as to why I hate him.

96. I hate him because only about 30 of those 78 decent reasons are really good reasons.

97. I hate that most of the things that are really good reasons I feel like I can change.

98. I hate him because I know I can't change him.

99. I hate him because I know I don't really want to change him.

100. I hate him because he makes me forget what I'm supposed to be.

101. I hate him because I love him so bloody much.

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Remember: TiredRaven is a review whore. Therefore, thou shalst review-eth.

-Raven


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